I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
