i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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