Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
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