I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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