Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize