She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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