I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
