I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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