Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
