I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
