the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
