At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
