butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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