And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
