Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize