He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
