Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
