No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
