he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
