I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
he shaved USA in his pubs
i think i have herpe
just one?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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