Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
love makes seman taste better
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
