i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
