I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
