I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize