I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
