Can Purell be used as lube?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
