i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
