doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
