Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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