And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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