I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
