Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
