I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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