If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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