why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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