shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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