it was like his penis was on wheels.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize
