quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
