All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
