if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
