Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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