you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
