did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
