No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
