it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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