I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
