Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
false alarm, still single
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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