i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
