so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
