3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
one two three fourrrrnication!
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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