She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
