Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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