I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
