dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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