I'm laying in your front yard are you home
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
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