If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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