i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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