Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Dicks are not precious.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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