Need sex. Gaining weight.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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