You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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