I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Randomize
