Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
