ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
